Logistics: My surgery is set for November 3rd, 2009. My mom (I’ll post a couple of photos from her recent visit soon) will be in town and R will be helping out as well. 6-8 weeks after surgery I will most likely have to ingest radioactive iodine and be in isolation (complete) for 2 full days, then after that mostly isolated for 3 more days. I will be too radioactive to be around people!
I was typing an e-mail a few minutes ago before I started “blogging” and I came across a strange phrase, “life expectancy”. It’s such a strange term. It reminds me of a scientist coming up with a hypothesis for an experiment. If this(you don’t do drugs, smoke or eat too much fat)– then this (you will live to be 105 years old). In reality (I like using this term) one never knows when or how they will go. I know, this is probably cliche, someone who is diagnosed with Cancer philosiphising about death. Let’s be honest, I’ve always thought about death. I do have a fascination with it, ever since I was small. I love cemeteries. OK, what’s my point? My point is the whole idea of knowing something without a doubt is absurd. We all have gut feelings, we all follow the general rules of life, we try to be good people, but there are just no absolutes in life. Duh, that’s obvious, I know. I just have to keep reminding myself of this. For every worry I have there is a counter argument for why it is pointless to worry.
I want to live the rest of my life with confidence, wonder, and courage. I’ll buy that red sequin dress, take a plane to wherever I want to go, and tell everyone that I know that I love them. I don’t do that often enough. I need you all to know, I’m gonna be different after all this. This is for the rest of my life.It’s a part of me now.If I can’t start now, I’ll start tomorrow.